God, answer my pray.

You never know, I always find any way to make you know what was my feel. But I still can’t do it.

My feel, which I saved too long. And I still keep ‘till know. No one know it.

Since you came to my life. Since I’m in love with you, since it I never brave to told you I love you. I’m afraid you can’t love me.

During a year, I never brave to talk with you. I never used this chance to make me come closer with you. ‘till I lose you. No chance anymore, to make me can stare your eyes, to smile looking your behaved. I’m regret it.

But you must know.

Long time, I always missing you. Although our distance isn’t far, but didn’t my heart.

I wanna see your face. I wanna make my day like usual. Like usual when I can stare your eyes anymore.

Day by day, I always hope I can meet and also say hello for you. Hope, and still hope. And God answer my pray.

I saw him from a far. I’m walking approach and slowly. I’m confused, I’m shy, I don’t know what should I do. Will I smile? Or say hello? Or just staring his eyes? Huh, I can’t think anything. And when you walking inside me, I try to stare his eyes anymore. And what I got? I didn’t found someone who I miss. I stare on different eyes. There’s a change in you. It’s feel you didn’t know me, and it’s like we’re never met before.

You know what was my feel? Noone knew! Also you!

I wanna cry when I know it’s happen to me. I never think it before.

But you still be you. Although there’s something new in you. I can accept, if you were changed. I can accept if you can’t stare me like last. But I didn’t want if you forget all the memories we had made.


 

Now, I try to keep my stare. I can’t stare you long time. And when you stare me back, I try to close my eyes, so I never saw a different eyes anymore. But, I can’t do it! I never do it! I can’t smile if I never see his face. I can’t enjoy my day if I didn’t see his eyes.

You know when I throw garbage outside my class. I saw you sitting on the chair, alone, so am I, alone. So there’s just you and me outside. I saw you, and you too. And fool me, I didn’t say anything, and I didn’t smile for you, I’m too shy to stare your eyes long time. I’m run away enter the class, leave him alone and close the door. But, I open again to saw you once again, but I didn’t see anyone. I just see someone close the door like me. It’s you.

My tears wanna fall down, flows on my cheek. I wanna cry loudly. I wanna broke the chair, the table, everything beside me! But I can’t. Why I do like that?!

I can’t tell to him, what I want. I can’t make he feel the same I feel! Fool me!

So, please listen to me, I didn’t stare your eyes long time didn’t mean I’m not like you anymore. I didn’t smile for you, didn’t mean I’m not care anymore. I didn’t say hello for you didn’t mean I forget all the memories between us. I just want, you smile for me, at least to stare me back. Why you never know what was my feel! Why you never feel it!

Once again, from my deepest heart, I’m love you more, more, and more, more than you know. I’m sorry I never tell you about my feeling, I’m sorry if I always angry with you just because you didn’t know my feel. And I’m always forced you to know my feel, without any single word. I just afraid, I’m afraid if you can’t accept me, can’t love me.

 And I never brave too say it to you. So, I just can save it inside my heart.

And I’m waiting for the time, for the answer of my pray, for someone who I want to be mine.

For you.

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