unpredicted

30 Juli 2012

Mengapa aku marah? Hak saja aku tak punya.

Mengapa aku cemburu? Padahal aku bukan siapa-siapamu.

Aku tak marah, aku tak cemburu. Hanya saja aku tak suka bila dia yang selalu saja kau nomorsatukan.

Selama ini aku merasa berada di posisi kedua. Di nomorduakan. Meski kau bilang masih mencintaiku, tapi aku merasa hatimu bukan untuk aku. Meski kau bilang akan selalu ada untukku, tapi jiwamu tak pernah lepas dari dia yang selalu membayangimu.

Menyakitkan, menyakitkan bila harus berpura-pura tegar saat kau tuliskan ceritamu dengan dia. Menyakitkan bila harus menyimpan rindu yang takkan pernah tersampaikan. Karena kamu tak lagi untukku. Pedih bila cinta ini harus terbagi.

Ingin kutinggalkan, tapi hati takut kehilangan.

Ingin kubertahan, tapi takut terluka semakin dalam.

Nb: Selamat hari bahagia kalian.

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God, answer my pray.

You never know, I always find any way to make you know what was my feel. But I still can’t do it.

My feel, which I saved too long. And I still keep ‘till know. No one know it.

Since you came to my life. Since I’m in love with you, since it I never brave to told you I love you. I’m afraid you can’t love me.

During a year, I never brave to talk with you. I never used this chance to make me come closer with you. ‘till I lose you. No chance anymore, to make me can stare your eyes, to smile looking your behaved. I’m regret it.

But you must know.

Long time, I always missing you. Although our distance isn’t far, but didn’t my heart.

I wanna see your face. I wanna make my day like usual. Like usual when I can stare your eyes anymore.

Day by day, I always hope I can meet and also say hello for you. Hope, and still hope. And God answer my pray.

I saw him from a far. I’m walking approach and slowly. I’m confused, I’m shy, I don’t know what should I do. Will I smile? Or say hello? Or just staring his eyes? Huh, I can’t think anything. And when you walking inside me, I try to stare his eyes anymore. And what I got? I didn’t found someone who I miss. I stare on different eyes. There’s a change in you. It’s feel you didn’t know me, and it’s like we’re never met before.

You know what was my feel? Noone knew! Also you!

I wanna cry when I know it’s happen to me. I never think it before.

But you still be you. Although there’s something new in you. I can accept, if you were changed. I can accept if you can’t stare me like last. But I didn’t want if you forget all the memories we had made.

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I Still Love You

 

I remember when I first saw you
I don’t know who you are
I just know, you’re standing next to me
You’re so handsome with your ordinary face
You look so cool with your black arlogi in your right hand

And when you look at me
There’s a feeling but I didn’t know what it’s named
But I know, in my deepest heart I was falling in love with you

I think its too fast for me
To loving someone, while I didn’t know who you are
I can’t explain the reason why I love you.
I just can say, I don’t know.

But, if I asked to give one reason, I can answered
'Cause when I see his eyes, I feel comfort'
It make me can't stopped looking him

day by day we spent together in this class
since I know your name, I feel happy
and you're different with others
the way you talk to me
behaved that make me smile, even laugh

that's makes you so valuable in my eyes
cause you're amazing just the way you are

and once again you stare my eyes
I'm ashamed, I don't know what should I do
It like take me flying with my feeling

oh God, I'm really love him
may love at first sight

but, time changed my love into a desire to have
It forced me to more loving you
and I can't let him go

I love you, I didn't want to lost you
I want you to still beside me
I wanna be yours, your girlfriend
whom always see your smile, and your eyes

but, should I stopped my hope when I know if he loves someone else?
should I waste my feeling when I know in his heart there was someone else's name?
should I crying loudly when I know I never be with him?

I can't accept the fact. It's pain me.

I'm jealous see you with her
I'm jealous, she can stare your eyes deeper
I'm jealous, I'm not sincere, if you couldn't love me

But you must know
I never lie with these feeling

when these feeling must over
I'm glad ever see someone like you
at least you're ever in my heart
and if these feeling really can't be continued
don't remove me from your heart

and thank you for make my life be colorful

Now, I gave up before I trying
She has everything than me

Boy, if hope is still there
until the last of my breath, I'll run for you
wherever you are, I will be beside you
whatever you say, can't change my love for you
however you now, I will always love you.

but the fate, make us far

everything has changed

I never see you anymore

Your stare, that I never get again

I lose you

I lose someone who made me understand what is love

I lose someone who made me always tough

I lose someone who made me comfort when he saw me

I lose everything

but please, listen to me

from my deepest heart, with my falling tears
I love you more, I'm really need you

 *picture from google

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I don't know about 'love'

entah apa yang tiba-tiba membuatku merasakan seperti ini
yang tak asing lagi buatku
tapi ini beda, yang mana aku sama sekali tak tau mengapa bisa terjadi

sejak pertama dia datang di kehidupanku
membawa cinta, yang kemudian berubah menjadi sebuah cerita
cerita tanpa tau apa judulnya

awalnya aku sama sekali tak menaruh rasa dengannya
tapi rasa ini mendesak masuk ke hati ini, memaksaku untuk mencintainya
apa adanya.

dan ku fikir mencintainya adalah hal terbodoh jika memang itu terjadi

tapi tanpa ku sadari
waktu yang menuntunku berjalan ke arahnya
mata yang membuatku tak pernah berhenti memandangnya
jantung yang selalu berdebar saat aku dekat dengannya

ada yang salah denganku?
coba katakan aku tidak sedang jatuh cinta!

tapi kenapa?
kenapa aku malu saat dia pandang aku
kenapa aku cemburu saat dia tak bersamaku
kenapa setiap waktu hanya bayangnya yang ada di anganku

oh, Tuhan, aku benar-benar jatuh cinta dengannya

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